


Start Again

by PharoahsWitch93



Series: Are You the One? [5]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Completed, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, M/M, part of a series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 13:53:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PharoahsWitch93/pseuds/PharoahsWitch93
Summary: He stares at the blue haired man in bewilderment and disbelief. Words fail. There are a million things he wants to say. A million questions he’s dying to ask, but his tongue is tied. This shouldn’t be possible…





	Start Again

Part 5 of “Are You the One?” series  
Based on the Song “Start Again” By RED

A/N: This has been a long time coming and I can’t apologize enough to my readers. A lot has changed (and still is changing) these past few months that have kind of thrown me for a loop, sideways, over/under, upside down, back and forth. I won’t go into too much detail and bore you all with my sob story so I hope you enjoy this (long awaited) conclusion.

I don't have a Beta so all mistakes are mine. Please inform me of any and I'll fix them right away. Please R&R! Thank you. Still don't own Fire Emblem Fates or any of these characters.

*****

“Are you being moody again?” Peri frowns.

Xander starts at the question. Has he become so transparent that people can pick up on his melancholy state? He thought he had secluded himself pretty well from the rest of the guests. Today marked the one year anniversary since defeating Anankos and bringing peace to the world. Corrin believed it would be a good idea to celebrate it ever year. A way to reunite with those friends they couldn’t see on a regular basis. Ryoma believed it would be a good idea as well, “to strengthen the bonds between our three kingdoms” he had said. The Hoshidan king offered to host the affair since Hoshido was the most stable of the three kingdoms currently.

Xander had been hesitant. The whole idea felt wrong. However, Peri had been enamored with the prospect of seeing her friends from Hoshido again. It’s not like a king and his retainer could travel much outside of business. So he agreed to go, for her, but he no longer wishes to stay. Don’t mistake him, he’s glad they can celebrate but...there are people missing. More specifically there is one man who should be here and isn’t. Laslow had been an integral part during the war, more than anyone even imagined. To celebrate this shared victory without him seemed sacrilegious. 

“I have not - as you say - been moody,” he finally responds.

Peri scoffs, waving her hand as if dismissing his words. 

“You can’t fool me Lord Xander. I see you frown when you think I’m not looking. So, tell me what’s wrong; Peri will help make it right.”

Xander can’t help the fond smile that graces his features at her insistence. She’s always so enthusiastic to help even if she doesn’t quite understand the problem. And surprisingly keen at picking up other people’s emotions though that’s a skill she has acquired gradually. He attributes it to her motherly whims.

“Unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll be able to help.”

Peri pouts at his words. Though harsh sounding, the words are but the truth. She can’t follow Laslow where he fled and make him return when she can’t even remember him at all. It appears that only him and his brother had broken the spell. Maybe because they had stronger bonds with the two retainers then others, but it was painful to act as if he wasn’t aware. As if he didn’t remember him. 

“Then tell me what I can do.”

Peri crosses her arms over her chest and that familiar determined glint enters her eyes. Xander takes another sip contemplating her request. His gaze scans the crowded hall. The children stand off to the side, playing a strange game he could never figure out the rules too. Camilla converses with Beruka. Hinoka and her retainers nearby and chiming into the conversation every now and then. Corrin dances a bit clumsily with her husband though the grin on his face says he doesn’t mind. Takumi sits with his friends, laughing at something Hinata just said. And Elise is currently providing the music with Sakura. They’re performing a piece they had composed together which combines Nohrian and Hoshidan traditions. Everywhere he looked he saw smiling faces.

‘War creates friends from strangers. Allies from enemies. If you want to know why I fought, look toward the smiling and laughing faces of the people around us.’

Laslow’s voice is soft and gentle in his head. Fond and hopeful. Xander looks down at his stubborn retainer who looks at him impatiently.

“Enjoy this peace we have created and celebrate with those you call friends. That is what you can do for me.”

Laslow may not be here and Peri may have forgotten him, but it’s what he would want. He would want his friends to revel in the peace he helped create. It’s why he fought after all.

“That’s it? But how would that help any?”

Her pout deepens and he can’t help but chuckle.

“It will help remind me why we fought.”

She’s skeptical, but is silent. For a bit.

“Then you have to enjoy it too.”

Xander nearly splashes what’s left of his sake all over himself. Peri giggles before turning away, returning to the small group of Nohrians and Hoshidans by the refreshments. He curses. She’s right of course. If there was one person Laslow fought so hard for it was him. His liege. His friend. His...Perhaps that is a selfish thought to indulge? To think so highly of himself in that regard. After all, after promising to stay he disappeared like a wind’s brief caress. No. That cliche doesn’t fit him at all. He’s more like the storm, leaving devastation in its wake. Xander gulps down the last of his sake. Mingling would be good right about now.

He steps away from his corner and enters the fray. Many of his old comrades bid him hello, forgoing the formalities. A thing that doesn’t upset him considering the environment. His eyes scan the crowd again, hoping for a friendly face. Corrin notices him standing in the center and bids him to come over. He smiles at her and takes a spot between her and Ryoma.

“We were wondering when you were going to join the festivities,” Ryoma teases.

“Forgive me. I’ve had a lot on my mind recently.”

Corrin gives him a look. One that’s curious and concerned at the same time. He smiles to ease her worry, not wanting to make her upset. Besides, he wouldn’t know how to explain himself to her. She, like the rest of them, doesn’t remember. Xander can tell Corrin isn’t buying his lie, but she thankfully doesn’t press the matter.

“I’m glad you could come Xander. I know Nohr is still facing a bit of difficulty,” she redirects the subject.

Xander nods, in agreement and in gratitude.

“Indeed, but Leo’s Garden House has given Nohr its first harvest in years. I believe it is a sign that things will get better for us.”

“Garden Houses?” Ryoma asks inquisitively.

Xander beams as he launches into the explanation of Leo’s creation. A simple solution until they can get the fields back in order. An indoor garden where the sunlight and water are controlled by a rotation of apprenticed mages every day. Of course, the sunlight is artificial and the water is not as natural as the rain or a river, but it shows results. Leo has noted that a tomato from the ground is much more satisfying than a tomato brought from overseas. Xander was impressed with the idea and gave Leo the OK to start construction on the first one. It’s been his pet project ever since.

“Your brother is quite the genius,” Ryoma remarks. “If there is anyway Hoshido can help with the project, please let me know.”  
Xander nods.

“I’ll let Leo know of your offer.”

Corrin looks around the room as if searching for something.

“Speaking of Leo, have you seen him recently?”

Xander stares out at the gathered people, eyes scanning for a familiar mop of blond hair. However, he’s nowhere to be found. And he thinks he knows why if his feelings are anything to go by.

“I’ll find him. If you’ll excuse me.”

Xander leaves before Ryoma or Corrin can protest. Guilt gnaws at his chest. He should have recognized that this may be as hard on Leo as it is for him. He’s not the only one who lost someone important. The least he can do is find him and make sure he’s alright. The screen door opens noiselessly as he steps through it and out into the corridors of Hoshido’s palace. He carefully shuts it behind him before beginning his search. Xander’s doubtful Leo went too far from the party. It may be a celebration of peace, but with so many royals in one location, it’d be an easy target. He knows he’s a bit paranoid, but considering everything he’s been through, slight paranoia is far from his main issues.

Relief floods through him as he spots Leo in the courtyard, but it quickly turns to alarm when he notices his brother is crying. And not too silently either. His footsteps quicken until he wraps his arms around his brother’s shaking frame. Leo’s arms automatically wrap around his waist, something small and scratchy at his back. Affection isn’t his forte, but he’ll be damned if he allowed his brother to suffer alone.

A sharp intake of breath causes Xander to jump. He turns his head to the side and notices two people he didn’t see previously. Selena stands there. Her striking red hair twisted atop her head in a traditional Hoshidan style. But it’s the other person that causes him to pause. His heart nearly stopping in his chest. This can’t be real. He’s dreaming. The young man’s dark blue hair catches the moonlight beautifully. A contrast to what he is used to, but that smile. Simple smile and gray eyes. The same that have been haunting his dreams for the past year. He releases Leo, who seems to have calmed down at the presence of the other two.

Xander doesn’t know what he’s doing until his fist connects with the man’s jaw. The young man stumbles backward, hand automatically gripping his chin. His face is riddled with shock as he stares at him. Xander’s fingers twitch, itching for another shot. Selena cries out in alarm as Leo grabs his arm, stopping him from acting out again.

“Brother, that’s enough.”

Leo’s words cause him to freeze, but the man just looks at him. Sorrow and guilt evident in his eyes.

“No, your brother has every right to be angry,” he says.

Cautiously, Leo removes his hand from his arm. Xander lets his fist fall to his side, the fight drained out of him at the sound of his voice. He stares at the blue haired man in bewilderment and disbelief. Words fail. There are a million things he wants to say. A million questions he’s dying to ask, but his tongue is tied. This shouldn’t be possible…

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Severa.”

Selena quiets immediately at the unusual name. Her hands clenching together into fists. The sound of crinkled paper reaches his ears. He looks to her hand, a small envelop in her palm. His eyes flick to Leo’s hand subconsciously. He too holds an envelop though slightly bigger in size. Finally his gaze rests back on the impossible man before him.

“Your Majesty, may we talk?”

Without answering, Leo and Selena exchange a look before leaving the two of them alone. He gestures to a bench off to his side. Xander plops down on it, his body too heavy to stand. The man takes a seat beside him. His legs cross together at the ankles. They swing back and forth in the silence that follows. A silence that seems strangely loud.

“I must admit, this is not how I pictured our reunion happening. Well, except for the punch. I knew that was a given.”

He chuckles, but there’s no humor to it. Silence falls between them again. The music from the party starts back up with a happy tune. It contrasts with Xander’s mood so much he scowls. What is even happening? It’s like he walked into one of his dreams. He pictured what a reunion with Laslow would be like. Sometimes they come together and embrace, sharing a kiss so passionate he would lose his breath. Other times, they’d come together and Seigfried would be protruding from the other side of the man’s body. Xander’s eyes dark and cold. That dream had occurred less and less as time went on. When his anger had fizzled to little more than resignation and defeat.

“Please say something.”

The plea is small. A whisper he can just barely hear. There’s a quiver in Laslow’s voice that tugs at Xander’s heart. He hates it. The king had dreamed of this moment for so long, but now that it’s here?

“You promised to stay.”

His own voice is hollow. Laslow flinches at the statement. His ex-retainer takes a deep breath.

“I thought it would be better if I left.”

Xander had come to terms with Laslow’s departure. He stored those feelings away till it no longer kept him up at night. But seeing his face, feeling the heat radiate from his body, knowing that he’s truly here, those feelings can no longer be contained.

“Then why did you come back?”

Venom leaks from his words. A bit that leaves Laslow paralyzed. Laslow’s gaze falls to the ground. Part of him screams to apologize and take him back into his arms, but another part wants him to hurt. To hurt the way he has been hurting for the past year and a half. He didn’t realize how raw this wound was until it opened back up again.

There’s a sigh to his right and he can feel his ex-retainer move. Xander looks down, spotting a small satchel by the bench’s leg that he didn’t notice before. Laslow pulls out an envelop. It is similar in style to the ones Selena and Leo held. However, his is by far bigger than theirs. He ignores the tremor in Laslow’s hand as he takes it from him. His name sprawled across the front in a messy yet legible script he doesn’t recognize. Xander tears into it, wondering what on earth Laslow means by handing it to him. The king’s eyes widen as he reads its contents. Letters from the king and queen of Ylisse. Letters from Las - Inigo’s parents. He can’t help the quick intake of breath.

“I came home.” The words leave him speechless. “I understand the responsibilities you have as king milord and I’ve come to accept them. However, I would request to remain by your side regardless if you’ll have me.”

Xander gazes at the king’s letter, not taking in the words. His mind racing with too many thoughts. Too many emotions that he can’t express. Wonder. Elation. Sorrow. Anger. Betrayal. Love. They fly through his mind like leaves in a storm. 

“Your name is Inigo?”

The question’s the first leaf that falls at his feet in the chaos. Xander grabs at it desperate to have an anchor. Inigo starts at the unexpected question. He nods his head carefully.

“It means “my little love” in my native tongue.”

His voice can still ground him. It can still pull him out of his mind and back into reality. Allow him a respite from the worries and fears gnawing at his heart. It warms him.

“Inigo.” The king rolls the name in his mouth. He finally looks at him. “It’s appropriate.”

Amber meets steel and time slows down. The music from the party fades into the distance. His world focuses only on the blue haired man before him. Blue suits him better then the dusty brown he had before. Inigo’s chest rises and falls in rapid succession as the king presses his lips to his. He’s hesitant at first. Unsure if he even still wants this, whatever this is. Xander can’t forget the torture of forgetting. The torture of remembering. He can’t forgive the hurt Inigo has caused him. Yet, his heart still yearns. His heart sings as Inigo responds eagerly, moving closer to him, nearly straddling his lap. Chrom is right; Inigo belongs here in Nohr. He belongs by his side.

They pull away, forehead to forehead as they breathe each other’s air. There’s a faint smile on Inigo’s face. Xander can’t help but kiss him again. Inigo’s smile widens against his lips. The young man pulls away from the kiss and leans in, laying his head upon the king’s chest. Xander wraps his arms around him, holding him close. Gods, he missed this; even if his taste of it was brief.

“I’m glad you’re here, Inigo.”

It won’t be easy. There are many who will oppose him. Oppose Inigo as well. But he’s willing to try. He’s willing to start again and make this right. Because he’s come to understand that Inigo is his anchor. The light in his darkness. All manner of cliches that litter the pages of Corrin’s romance books. Inigo pulls back. Their eyes lock and Xander’s heart skips a beat at the love that shines through Inigo’s gaze.

“You’re stuck with me, Your Majesty."

Xander laughs as Inigo winks at him. He captures his retainer’s lips in another passionate kiss. Both lost in each other’s presence.

The celebration continues inside the room, oblivious to the reunited lovers. Music flows through the air. Couples sway and twirl to the beat with smiles on their faces. Children laugh as they weave through guests. Screaming in delight as they tag each other and begin the chase again. Friends drink and eat merrily together. Conversing as if months had not passed since they last saw one another. The peace they had fought so hard for is so easy to spot among the crowd. Everything is alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be writing the letters that Chrom and Olivia wrote for Xander because I can and I want to since I've denied you guys this piece for so long. Think of it as a present. The title will be "Letters Between" and will be multi-chapter instead of posted individually as its own series. That title will be placed under the "Are You the One Series?" Again, I'm so sorry this took so long.
> 
> Be on the lookout for a companion series to this called "Hallelujah" which follows Leo and Odin's side of the story. Someone had asked for Leo's POV at some point and that plot kind of just got away from me as this one had. It's not as long, but I think it should be posted.


End file.
